Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

Woman absent is woman dead.

Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.

Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission.

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Cabbage A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Cabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Logic - the act of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human understanding.

MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.

Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.

Did you know that clones never use mirrors?;"Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary

Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.

A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.

PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.

CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Garter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country.

ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.

ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.

"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.'

Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.

Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged fourteen hundred and forty times a day.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

PUBLISH, n. In literary affairs, to become the fundamental element in a cone of critics.