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Ambrose Bierce quotes, quotations, sayings

Woman absent is woman dead.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
 1004    
Liar, n.: A lawyer with a roving commission.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Cabbage A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Cabbage, n.: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Logic - the act of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human understanding.
Ambrose Bierce - The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
PREDICAMENT, n. The wage of consistency.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?;"Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
 1004    
Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Miss, n.: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
CONVENT, n. A place of retirement for woman who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Garter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911
 1004    
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.'
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Distress, n.: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
 1004    
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute. You are avenged fourteen hundred and forty times a day.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    
PUBLISH, n. In literary affairs, to become the fundamental element in a cone of critics.
Ambrose Bierce
 1004    


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