Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

The secret anniversaries of the heart.

Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.

Always forgive your enemies -- nothing annoys them so much.

Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark.

The smallest annoyances, disturb us the most.

Stacy Happy anniversary, Wayne. Wayne Stacy, we broke up two months ago. Stacy Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out, does it Wayne Well, it does actually, that's what breaking up is.

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

We travel together, passengers on a little spaceship, dependent on it's vulnerable reserves of air and soil, all committed, for our safety, to it's security and peace. Preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work and the love we give our fragile craft.

They're slobbery and they're whiney and they look at you just like they could see right into your soul and they're unpredictable and the smell and they're noisy and the world revolves around them and why I don't get it. They're not interesting. They can't tell jokes, they don't have opinions, and they're boring, you know They're just boring and annoying and I don't want to have one.

Happy the people whose annals are blank in the history books

Happy are the people whose annals are blank in history books

The best way of travel, however, if you aren't in any hurry at all, if you don't care where you are going, if you don't like to use your legs, if you don't want to be annoyed at all by any choice of directions, is in a balloon. In a balloon, you can decide only when to start, and usually when to stop. The rest is left entirely to nature.

Next week Reagan will probably announce that American scientists have discovered that the entire U.S. agricultural surplus can be compacted into a giant tomato one thousand miles across, which will be suspended above the Kremlin from a cluster of U.S. satellites flying in geosynchronous orbit. At the first sign of trouble the satellites will drop the tomato on the Kremlin, drowning the fractious Muscovites in ketchup.

Skating was good. I landed almost everything. I was very happy.

Pascal Users: To show respect for the 313th anniversary (tomorrow) of the death of Blaise Pascal, your programs will be run at half speed.

Only those who know the supremacy of the intellectual life can understand the grief of one who falls from that serene activity into the absorbing soul-wasting struggle with worldly annoyances.

The holiest of holidays are those Kept by ourselves in silence and apart The secret anniversaries of the heart.

Annual drug deaths: tobacco: 395,000, alcohol: 125,000, 'legal' drugs: 38,000, illegal drug overdoses: 5,200, marijuana: 0. Considering government subsidies of tobacco, just what is our government protecting us from in the drug war?;"William A. Turnbow

Human beings are not condemned, because of their biological constitution, to annihilate each other or to be at the mercy of a cruel, self-inflicted fate.

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

Always love your enemies--nothing annoys them so much.

The University of California Bears announced the signing of Reggie Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall. Philbin is said to make up for no talent by cheating well. Says Philbin of his decision to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride.

We scientists, whose tragic destiny it has been to make the methods of annihilation ever more gruesome and more effective, must consider it our solemn and transcendent duty to do all in our power in preventing these weapons from being used for the brutal purpose for which they were invented.

Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

I have told you of the Spaniard who always put on his spectacles when about to eat cherries, that they might look bigger and more attempting. In like manner I made the most of my enjoyment s: and through I do not cast my cares away, I pack them in as little compass as I can, and carry them as conveniently as I can for myself, and never let them annoy others.

Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset.

What the vast majority of American children needs is to stop being pampered, stop being indulged, stop being chauffeured, stop being catered to. In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.

If when a businessman speaks of minority employment, or air pollution, or poverty, he speaks in the language of a certified public accountant analyzing a corporate balance sheet, who is to know that he understands the human problems behind the statistical ones? If the businessman would stop talking like a computer printout or a page from the corporate annual report, other people would stop thinking he had a cash register for a heart. It is as simple as that -- but that isn't simple.

Oh Doris Lessing, my dear -- your Anna is wrong about orgasms. They are no proof of love -- any more than that other Anna's fall under the wheels of that Russian train was a proof of love. It's all female shenanigans, cultural mishegoss, conditioning, brainwashing, male mythologizing. What does a woman want? She wants what she has been told she ought to want. Anna Wulf wants orgasm, Anna Karenina, death. Orgasm is no proof of anything. Orgasm is proof of orgasm. Someday every woman will have orgasms -- like every family has color TV -- and we can all get on with the real business of life.

The best way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.

Leigh Ann spotted Tommy and a friend at class registration at the local college.... Leigh Ann: "What class did you guys just sign up for?" Tommy: "English 1302" Leigh Ann: "Ewwwwwww! You have to read books and stuff!

What annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain?

Can you do me a favor? Say happy anniversary to my wife, Valerie? Our anniversary is Sept. 11, believe it or not. Our first anniversary, and I'm down here.

The Lord gave us two ends -- one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.

I am so happy to be able to announce the continuation of my relationship with Yamaha,-Valentino Rossi

J: "Would you notice if a spaceship landed and giant green burritos got out?" S: "I would. I'd chase after them with guacamole!

The only perfect love to be found on earth is not sexual love, which is riddled with hostility and insecurity, but the wordless commitment of families, which takes as its model mother-love. This is not to say that fathers have no place, for father-love, with its driving for self-improvement and discipline, is also essential to survival, but that uncorrected father-love, father-love as it were practiced by both parents, is a way to annihilation.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Romantic love, in pornography as in life, is the mythic celebration of female negation. For a woman, love is defined as her willingness to submit to her own annihilation. The proof of love is that she is willing to be destroyed by the one whom she loves, for his sake. For the woman, love is always self-sacrifice, the sacrifice of identity, will, and bodily integrity, in order to fulfill and redeem the masculinity of her lover.

The gospel is neither a discussion or a debate. It is an announcement.

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

There are many kinds of smiles, each having a distinct character. Some announce goodness and sweetness, others betray sarcasm, bitterness and pride; some soften the countenance by their languishing tenderness, others brighten by their spiritual vivacity.

Losing faith in your own singularity is the start of wisdom, I suppose; also the first announcement of death.

Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness.

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.

The crown of life is neither happiness nor annihilation; it is understanding.

One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends. If they seem okay, then you're the one.

By annihilating the desires, you annihilate the mind. Every man without passions has within him no principle of action, nor motive to act.