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Dorothy Parker quotes, quotations, sayings

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Dorothy Parker
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Sure, I'd be happy. I'd be very happy.
Dick Parker
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Where's the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
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Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
Dorothy Rothschild Parker
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Scratch a lover, and find a foe.
Dorothy Parker
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Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Dorothy Parker
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Parker's Law: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
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That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
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How could they tell?;"Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died
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Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is probably parked.
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(Jeff F., Joe F., and Andy Z. are listening to Jesus Christ Superstar while parked in a field, after being awake for about 24 hours.) Mrs. B.: Jeff, you'll have to move your car Joe F. (looks straight at her and sings.): Ba da, ba da, ba da, ba da BA!
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Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
Dorothy Parker
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I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
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Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Dorothy Parker
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I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker
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M: "Scott got hit by a parked car again.
S: "Oh, I did not! It just wasn't moving, is all.
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It is difficult to steer a parked car, so get moving.
Henrietta Mears
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I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Dorothy Parker
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I love everything that's old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines; and, I believe, Dorothy, you'll own I have been pretty fond of an old wife.
Oliver Goldsmith
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
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Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
Evan Davis
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Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
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The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe
Dorothy Rothschild Parker
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It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them.
George Foreman
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They sicken at the calm that know the storm.
Dorothy Parker
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I shall stay the way I am because I do not give a damn.
Dorothy Parker
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Art is a form of catharsis.
Dorothy Parker
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All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker
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This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
Dorothy Parker
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere and let the air out of the tires.
Dorothy Parker
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Why is it no one ever sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
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Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
Dorothy Parker
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Gratitude -- the meanest and most sniveling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
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I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back on. I can't imagine how I did it. When I got away from it I couldn't even refer to the place by name. ''Out there,'' I called it.
Dorothy Parker
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch is, and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
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He [Robert Benchley] and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
Dorothy Parker
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Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker
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It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
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Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live.
Dorothy Parker
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There's a helluva distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorothy Parker
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The two most beautiful words in the English language are: ''Check Enclosed.''
Dorothy Parker
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Work is the province of cattle.
Dorothy Parker
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Dorothy Parker
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If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy Parker
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Check Enclosed
Dorothy Parker - her version of the two most beautiful words in English
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Excuse my dust
Dorothy Parker - Epitaph
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I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe
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