Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

After last night's debate, the reputation of Messieurs Lincoln and Douglas is secure.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Sadly, however, it seems that not only has the kakapo forgotten how to fly, but it has also forgotten that it has forgotten how to fly.

Life is wasted on the living.

They are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.

The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman.

There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

Why, ever since Adam, who has got to the meaning of this great allegory -- the world? Then we pygmies must be content to have out paper allegories but ill comprehended.

This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark.

It gets to seem as if way back in the Garden of Eden after the Fall, Adam and Eve had begged the Lord to forgive them and He, in his boundless exasperation, had said, ''All right, then. Stay. Stay in the Garden. Get civilized. Procreate. Muck it up.'' And they did.

Jimmy: "What if the sky was pink?" Adam: "You would wonder what it was like if it was blue. This is it.

In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on a woman.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -;"Douglas Adams, "Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy

Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people so ugly you wouldn't want to touch them in the first place?;"George Carlin

Who is this God person anyway?;"Douglas Adams

Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.

Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

I love deadlines. I specially love the swooshing sounds they make as they fly by.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.

Frederick Douglass taught that literacy is the path from slavery to freedom. There are many kinds of slavery and many kinds of freedom. But reading is still the path.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.

Adam inquires concerning celestial motions, is doubtfully answered, and exhorted to search rather things more worthy of knowledge.

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

When Adam delved and Eve span, who was then the gentleman?

Certainly Adam in Paradise had not more sweet and curious apprehensions of the world, than I when I was a child.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it.

Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the ''blessing'' of idleness and won for us the ''curse'' of labor.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.

A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Never would it occur to a child that a sheep, a pig, a cow or a chicken was good to eat, while, like Milton's Adam, he would eagerly make a meal off fruits, nuts, thyme, mint, peas and broad beans which penetrate further and stimulate not only the appetite but other vague and deep nostalgias. We are closer to the Vegetable Kingdom than we know; is it not for man alone that mint, thyme, sage, and rosemary exhale ''crush me and eat me!'' -- for us that opium poppy, coffee-berry, tea-plant and vine perfect themselves? Their aim is to be absorbed by us, even if it can only be achieved by attaching themselves to roast mutton.

The world values the seer above all men, and has always done so. Nay, it values all men in proportion as they partake of the character of seers. The Elgin Marbles and a decision of John Marshall are valued for the same reason. What we feel in them is a painstaking submission to facts beyond the author's control, and to ideas imposed upon him by his vision. So with Beethoven's Symphonies, with Adam Smith's ''Wealth of Nations'' -- with any conceivable output of the human mind of which you approve. You love them because you say, ''These things were not made, they were seen.''

Cannons and fire-arms are cruel and damnable machines; I believe them to have been the direct suggestion of the Devil. If Adam had seen in a vision the horrible instruments his children were to invent, he would have died of grief.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

It's not good to leave blood laying around, Adam, it's not sanitary.

Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.