Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

If Abu Nidal is a terrorist, then so is George Washington. (Reply to President Ronald Reagan in defense of Palestinian terrorist)

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

Frisbeetarianism is the philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck.

Life.....is a series of dogs.

George May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face. Fred And may the winds of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

I just remember George smiling and how happy he was.

George Orwell was an optimist.

If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, then what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that to us, do they?;"George Carlin

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people so ugly you wouldn't want to touch them in the first place?;"George Carlin

Do not keep the alabaster boxes of your love and tenderness sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness, speak cheering words while their ears can hear, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier by them. George

I often say of George Washington that he was one of the few in the whole history of the world who was not carried away by power.

Slater Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man when he come in the door, man she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.

George It was the greatest feeling I ever had. Followed abruptly by the worst feeling I ever had.

George The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance.

Carlie: Dave's asexual. Lisa: That's unfortunate... for you.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Tradition! We scarcely know the word anymore. We are afraid to be either proud of our ancestors or ashamed of them. We scorn nobility in name and in fact. We cling to a bourgeois mediocrity which would make it appear we are all Americans, made in the image and likeness of George Washington.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it-George Carlin

I am only an average man but, by George, I work harder at it than the average man.

One thing I can say about George... he may not be able to keep a job, but he's not boring.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-

When I was young, I said to God, god, tell me the mystery of the universe. But God answered, that knowledge is for me alone. So I said, god, tell me the mystery of the peanut. Then God said, well, George, that's more nearly your size.

He is the purest figure in history. [About George Washington]

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

The Beatles exist apart from my Self. I am not really Beatle George. Beatle George is like a suit or shirt that I once wore on occasion and until the end of my life people may see that shirt and mistake it for me.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t.

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Yogi met George Bush during an election campaign. Bush said Texas was important. Yogi said Texas has a lot of electrical votes.

George Foreman. A miracle. A mystery to myself. Who am I? The mirror says back. The George you was always meant to be.'' Wasn't always like that. Used to look in the mirror and cried a river.

As a result of trying to solve the big problems we face in life, many of us end up sacrificing individual relationships by doing things that we may consider as being small or insignificant at the time. This reminds us of the George and Gracie routine where George asks Gracie, How do you cook a pot roast? She replied, I put both a big pot roast and a small pot roast in the oven. When the small one is burnt, the big one is done just right!

USENET is William Shatner and George Bush trading places after being hit by lightning.

When are we human beings gonna have a meeting? We took this god thing and ran to the god damn end of the earth with it.

George Washington was first in war, first in peace and the first to have his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

The planet is fine, the people are fucked.

By George, I've got potato on my shoe!

I recently heard about a mass murderer who killed seventeen people in three days... they say he was a loner. Well, of course he was. He apparently killed everyone he came in contact with!

Spirituality: the last refuge of a failed human. Just another way of distracting yourself from who you really are.

George Washington's brother was the Uncle of Our Country.

George Shinn. He's the owner of the Charlotte Harlots basketball team.

The Islamic Republic is proud to be the target of the rage of the world's greatest Satan. in response to George W. Bush's assertion of Iran as part of an axis of evil

One thing I can say about George...he may not be able to keep a job, but he's not boring.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.