Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

Sure men were born to lie, and women to believe them!

Who dares to teach must never cease to learn John Cotton Dana

If you were in a room with Kadaffi, Saddam Hussien, and John Sununu, and you only had two bullets, what would you do. Shoot John Sununu twice.

John Johnson Now this is something the other tour guides won't tell you. In this particular cell-block, Machine Gun Kelly had what we call in the prison system, a bitch. And one night in a jealous rage Kelly took a make-shift knife or shiv, and cut out the bitch's eyes. And as if this wasn't enough retribution for Kelly, the next day he and four other inmates took turns pissing into the bitch's ocular cavities. (short pause) This way to the cafeteria

Being on tour sends me crazy, I drink too much and out comes the John Mcenroe in me.

Despite everybody who has been born and has died, the world has just gone on. I mean, look at Napoleon --but we went right on. Look at Harpo Marx --the world went around, it didn't stop for a second. It's sad but true. John Kennedy, right?

I must have women -- there is nothing unbends the mind like them.

I feel like the fellow in jail who is watching his scaffold being built. (On construction of reviewing stands for inauguration of his successor John F Kennedy)

It is only when we are very happy that we can bear to gaze merrily upon the vast and limitless expanse of water, rolling on and on with such persistent, irritating monotony, to the accompaniment of our thoughts, whether grave or gay. When they are gay, the waves echo their gaiety; but when they are sad, then every breaker, as it rolls, seems to bring additional sadness, and to speak to us of hopelessness and of the pettiness of all our joys.

Alice: Who would win in a fight, Yoda or the Emperor? Mike: Easy. Yoda, because he's gay.

The brave love mercy, and delight to save.

John: "Mabye you should stop taking the paint off that and take a break" Brian: "The big purple cow standing on the neon clown told me I can't!

It was a great ride up here. We're really happy to see Sergei and John.

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. [I John]

To live lightheartedly but not recklessly; to be gay without being boisterous; to be courageous without being bold; to show trust and cheerful resignation without fatalism -- this is the art of living.

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. It is the people brought up in the gay intimacy of the slums who find prison so soul-destroying.

How the mother is to be pitied who hath handsome daughters! Locks, bolts, bars, and lectures of morality are nothing to them: they break through them all. They have as much pleasure in cheating a father and mother, as in cheating at cards.

Chris: You're gay! Tom: Naw, I'm not gay. I'm just happy! Chris: Just happy that you're gay? Tom: No!!!!! Chris: So you're NOT happy that you're gay? Tom: Just piss off!!!!!!!

An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse.

John: "What day was it, Grandma?" Grandma Alice: "Oh you know, it was the other day before yesterday after tommorow.

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

WHERE CAN THE MATTER BE Oh, dear, where can the matter be When it's converted to energy? There is a slight loss of parity. Johnny's so long at the fair.

This is my commandment, that ye love one another. [Jesus, In John 15:12]

Look my story has been a really happy one except for that comment from John Brogden, so let's not dwell on it.

What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. -- John Ruskin

What then in love can woman do? If we grow fond they shun us. And when we fly them, they pursue: But leave us when they've won us.

The two-party system has given this country the war of Lyndon Johnson, the Watergate of Nixon, and the incompetence of Carter. Saying we should keep the two-party system simply because it is working is like saying the Titanic voyage was a success because a few people survived on life-rafts.

Jim: It's the cops, let's go. Tom: Why? Jim: We're gay prostitutes. Tom (stunned): What!?? We're not gay prostitutes! We're just standing here! Jim: Doesn't matter, they'll think we are. Tom: Why would they think that? Jim: 'cause we're cute.

Trying to call my friend John after he got home from military school: "Is John there??" "Who the hell is this!!! You think this is funny?? Don't ever call back, you little punk!!!" Apparently john's old number was now Papa John's Pizza. Oops.

The white, the Hispanic, the black, the Arab, the Jew, the woman, the Native American, the small farmer, the businessperson, the environmentalist, the peace activist, the young, the old, the lesbian, the gay and the disabled make up the American quilt.

-- Exclusive dedication to necessitious chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.

Do you think your mother and I should have lived comfortably so long together, if ever we had been married? Baggage!

After [my father had] seen me in five or six things, he said, ''Son, your mother and I really enjoyed your recent film, and I must say that you're a lot like John Wayne.'' And I said, ''How so?'' And he said, ''Well, you're exactly the same in all your roles.'' Now, as a modern American actor, that's not what you want to hear. But for a guy who watched John Wayne movies and grew up in Iowa, it's a sterling compliment.

The fathers of the field had been pretty confusing: John von Neumann speculated about computers and the human brain in analogies sufficiently wild to be worthy of a medieval thinker, and Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether machines can think, a question of which we now know that it is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim.

Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists. Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.

We know that we have passed from death into life, because we love... [1 John 3:14]

We must uphold the promise of Roosevelt, Truman, Kennedy, Johnson, Carter, and Clinton and never allow the President and his Republican friends to threaten Social Security by putting it on the Wall Street trading block.

O Polly, you might have toyed and kissed, by keeping men off, you keep them on.

Let him who desires to see others happy, make haste to give while his gift can be enjoyed, and remember that every moment of delay takes away something from the value of his benefaction-Samuel Johnson

I've had enough of being a gay icon! I've had enough of all this hard work, because, since I came out, I keep getting all these parts, and my career's taken off.

Can you support the expense of a husband, hussy, in gaming, drinking and whoring? Have you money enough to carry on the daily quarrels of man and wife about who shall squander most?

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou has sent. [Jesus -- John 17:3]

EMOTION IS DEAD!! LOVE IS GAY!! And EMO bands are just singing about Eating More Oreos!!

Cowards are cruel, but the brave Love mercy, and delight to save.

A rich rogue nowadays is fit company for any gentleman; and the world, my dear, hath not such a contempt for roguery as you imagine.

Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy and delight to save.

These names: gay, queer, homosexual are limiting. I would love to finish with them. We're going to have to decide which terms to use and where we use them. For me to use the word ''queer'' is a liberation; it was a word that frightened me, but no longer.

The priesthood in many ways is the ultimate closet in Western civilization, where gay people particularly have hidden for the past two thousand years.

A few years back I was more a candidate for skid row bum than an Emmy. If I hadn't stopped [drinking], I'd be playing handball with John Belushi right now.

Fill it up. I take as large draughts of liquor as I did of love. I hate a flincher in either.