Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time.

The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so.

The billiard table is better than the doctor.

After enlightenment, the laundry.

To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

We are for aiding our allies by sharing some of our material blessings with those nations which share in our fundamental beliefs, but we are against doling out money government to government, creating bureaucracy, if not socialism, all over the world. We set out to help 19 countries. We are helping 107 We spent $146 billion. With that money, we bought a 2-million-dollar yacht for Haile Selassie. We bought dress suits for Greek undertakers, extra wives for Kenya government officials. We bought a thousand TV sets for a place where they have no electricity.

E.L. Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day

Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

Oregon, n.: Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday night.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

We would be happy not to do the billing ourselves.

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Josh (confused): Are you on drugs or something? Allyson (laughing hysterically for no apparent reason): Nope! Don't need 'em!

America has run the world for at least the past 50 years, and when you're at the top that long, you forget what it's like in the valley. There are 5+ billion people out there now who are willing to study harder, work harder for less money and be more industrious than we are. And we're linked to them by technology. With telecommunications, you can have your bookkeeping done in Madra, India, for less than it costs here. Today technology can replace whole new industries, so you have to stay flexible. To survive today, you have to be able to walk on quicksand and dance with electrons.

My attitude toward punctuation is that it ought to be as conventional as possible. The game of golf would lose a good deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. You ought to be able to show that you can do it a good deal better than anyone else with the regular tools before you have a license to bring in your own improvements.

I'm really happy for Josh. He's been working real hard, and this is his year.

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.

What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.

Love looks through a telescope envy, through a microscope.

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

My plan of building from the back continues. I'm very happy that, in Josh, we'll have one of the best goalkeepers in the league returning to our team.

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

In the next year or so, my signature will appear on 60 billion of United States currency. More important to me, however, is the signature that appears on my life-the strong, proud, assertive handwriting of a loving father and mother.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

I used to think of all the billions of people in the world, and of all those people, how was I going to meet the right ones The right ones to be my friends, the right one to be my husband. Now I just believe you meet the people you're supposed to meet.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost--he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.