Quotes, Quotations and Sayings

While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.

We stand now where two roads diverge. But unlike the roads in Robert Frost's familiar poem, they are not equally fair. The road we have long been traveling is deceptively easy, a smooth superhighway on which we progress with great speed, but at its end lies disaster. The other fork of the road -- the one less traveled by -- offers our last, our only chance to reach a destination that assures the preservation of the earth.

Robert: Hey, that's my pen. You stole it! Joe: No, my father gave me this pen. Robert: Your father is a thief!

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer. -- Robert Quillen

Sue (from England) "I've been looking for you all my life!" Robert (from Tazmania) "Why didn't you just give me a ring?

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Robert E Lee didn't make it the first time and Jefferson Davis took the vacancy. Pershing didn't make it for two years, MacArthur couldn't get in the first year and Eisenhower took an extra year of high school to get in. Patton took three years to get in and five to get out.

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

What's nice about my dating life is that I don't have to leave my house. All I have to do is read the paper: I'm marrying Richard Gere, dating Daniel Day-Lewis, parading around with John F. Kennedy, Jr., and even Robert De Niro was in there for a day.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford--but you'll take him anyway.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Nobody in TV makes as much money as Robert Redford, who likes to make movies for several million dollars only on the condition that they contain some sort of social message. I cannot take very seriously a social message delivered by an actor who is paid nine million dollars to deliver it, and who charges you five dollars to see it.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Who so desireth to know what will be hereafter, let him think of what is past, for the world hath ever been in a circular revolution; whatsoever is now, was heretofore; and things past or present, are no other than such as shall be again: Redit orbis in orbem.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Kate: "If moths fly toward light, why don't they fly to the sun?" Robert: "They're nocturnal.

I feel like Julia Roberts, only with out that hole prostitute thing

While watching Captain Ron with Robert and Sue: Jimmy: "This is the movie that made me decide to quit my job and go sailing.

I now know how Abbot felt when Costello left, how Brinkley felt when Huntley left, how Sears felt when Roebuck left, and, of course, how Dan Rather felt when Connie left. (at Robert MacNeil's retirement dinner)

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston.

It's a basehit on the error by Roberts.

Tis the witching hour of night, Orbed is the moon and bright, And the stars they glisten, glisten, Seeming with bright eyes to listen For what listen they

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.